Increase Childrens Self-esteem By Teaching Them How To Bounce Back From

I recently got a question asking "How do I Instill Confidence in My Daughter?" I was thrilled that parent was being proactive about her daughter’s future. It wasn’t until my daughter was in the eleventh grade that I learned how to enhance her "true" self-esteem. And what a difference it made! She went from getting failing grades to graduating from high school, and college, and becoming a very successful manager. The key to children’s confidence is in what they say about themselves to themselves. Lots of praise from parents and other adults might make children feel good for a few moments. But, in the long run, flattery can even diminish a children’s self-esteem, making them dependent on outside approval to determine their self-worth or cause children to worry they could lose it, so they become afraid to take action. It can also create a sense of entitlement, making children think they "deserve" to have success handed to them on a silver platter. What causes children to feel good about themselves? Children feel good about themselves when they do well. So teaching important life skills is one of the best ways to enhance a child’s self-esteem. One of life’s most important skills is learning that success often requires energy and persistence. Instead of protecting children from struggle and failure, help them learn how to deal with it and get back on track. Here’s an example of a mother helping her child work through her math homework: Melinda was sitting by her eight-year-old daughter, Susan, who was doing math her homework. Melinda was startled when she heard Susan set her pencil down and blurt out, "I give up!" Wondering what was going on, Melinda asked Susan what the problem was. Susan replied, "I don’t get this math homework. I’m just not smart enough." Melinda said, "Math can be difficult." Then Melinda looked over the paper and saw that Susan had already done some problems correctly. She felt annoyed and wanted to tell her daughter that it’s easy if you apply yourself, and to get to it. She even thought about showing her how easy it was by giving her the answer to one of the problems. But recently, Melinda had learned that reaction would make her weaker and feel helpless in the future, instead of stronger. Instead, Melinda gently turned to Susan and asked "Hmmm . . how do you think you could figure that out?"" Naturally, Susan said, "I don’t know!" Melinda gently persisted, and said, "Let’s take a look at it. What do you think the first step would be?" Susan looked again at the math problem and after a few moments, saw one thing she could do and did it. Melinda said to her daughter, "Okay, what do you think the next step would be?" Susan grumbled, "I don’t know." Then she looked at the problem, and saw another step she could take. After a few minutes, Susan had solved the problem. Melinda then gave Susan "Can Do Recognition" to help increase her Can Do Attitude. She said, "Your work paid off. You solved the problem." Rather than give up in defeat and feeling bad about herself, Susan now had more confidence. What’s key is that Melinda didn’t threaten, force or cajole her daughter into taking action. She didn’t tell Susan how easy it was, or how smart she is. She didn’t do anything for her. She calmly directed Susan’s attention on the problem That sent Susan two messages: 1.She could do it. 2.She needed to solve the problem. Most important Susan has learned more about how to produce results in life and that persistence may be more important that smarts. This is a life skill that will help create life long success for Melinda’s daughter. About the Author: I invite you to use this tip to strengthen your ability to raise a happy, healthy, responsible and successful child, while you love being a parent! And, with your permission, I’d also like to offer you free access to "The Profound Impact of Effective Praise on Children’s Learning", you can download it by going to ..candokid../Praise.htm Article Published On: 相关的主题文章: